


see, we're laughing

by Capitola



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Aftercare, Bathing/Washing, Bittersweet, Episode: c02e097 The Fancy and the Fooled, F/M, Hair Washing, I recognize he’s a fictional character but I probably owe Yeza an apology at this point, Implied/Referenced Sex, Waning Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:34:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25253923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capitola/pseuds/Capitola
Summary: One Nicodranas...two Nicodranas...three Nicodranas...Veth lowers one foot into the bath carefully, counting as she feels the water around her toes and then her ankle and then up past her knee and she hits bottom. Breathes in. Out. And then the second one.Yeza reaches up and puts his arm around her waist, holding her close as he helps her down, gently, until they’re sitting, facing each other, and he smiles at her, looking so happy. Veth hopes she looks just as happy.
Relationships: Yeza Brenatto/Nott | Veth Brenatto
Comments: 12
Kudos: 34





	see, we're laughing

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a response to a prompt I was sent on tumblr, changed shape a bit since and then this week we’ve been having some Rough conversations in the widobrave server about Veth & Yeza’s relationship, so this ended up being what it is. You really never know where a scene is going to end up when you start it.
> 
> Title from “See I’m Smiling,” from _The Last Five Years_

Afterwards, they take a bath.

It feels like a new haircut. It feels like her skin’s on fire. It feels as natural as anything. Veth can’t stop looking at herself, turning to catch herself at different angles in the narrow mirror. She still feels like she’s only a decent likeness of herself, an imperfect copy of who she was. She can still feel flaws beneath the surface, like air pockets in a bar of soap. 

Looking around the more modest guest washroom, she can’t help but feel ashamed of how they’d been in such a hurry that they’d  _ exploded _ the Ruby’s lovely bathtub. There was nothing about the spell that would have been too good to do in a wooden tub like this one. Oh well. It’s big-people sized, so it makes a comfortable two-seater.

Yeza’s already in the bath, so she can’t beg out of it, can’t sit at the edge with her soap and her sponge. She’s just got to climb in, and not panic at the water surrounding her, which she’s managed a few times in the hot tub. 

_ One Nicodranas...two Nicodranas...three Nicodranas _ ...Veth lowers one foot into the bath carefully, counting as she feels the water around her toes and then her ankle and then up past her knee and she hits bottom. Breathes in. Out. And then the second one.

Yeza reaches up and puts his arm around her waist, holding her close as he helps her down, gently, until they’re sitting, facing each other, and he smiles at her, looking so happy. Veth hopes she looks just as happy.

“Can I wash your hair?” he asks, and she nods, turning around so he can get a better angle. She reaches back, holding onto his knee for stability as he carefully pours water over her head, as he works in one of a number of fancy-smelling shampoos from the side of the bath. His fingers are gentle, steady. He used to do this for her when she was pregnant, when she was bored as all-get-out from doing nothing but keeping house and managing the shop. After Luc was born they’d scarcely had the luxury of that kind of time. 

Yeza runs his hand along the side of her head, at the hairline, and then stops sharply, retracing his path and then trying again and not finding something he clearly meant to find.

"You…used to have a scar here," he says, his hand now stroking her soapy hair back, as if he might expose it. "From—” 

"From the water pump," she says, remembering. "I got shoved into it—”

“You were little, six or seven I think you said—”

“Six.” She runs her hand over the same area, dimly remembering the feel of crookedly fused skin. “I forgot it. When we were - making me, again.”

She’s intently aware of the use of the word “we” in the last sentence, the use of “we” to mean “Caleb and me,” and she wishes she wasn’t. It reminds her of being sixteen again, of saying “the apothecary” when her mother asked where she’d been all day. The way her breath would catch, hoping that her mother didn’t notice how happy it made her to say that. 

Now, she turns back, looks at Yeza, trying to see if he noticed. If he does, his face gives no indication. 

One little scar is not a lot to forget though, with everything she did remember, and choose to add again. She remembered stretch marks, moles, a handful of other childhood scars. 

Veth mapped some of the scars from her goblin body onto this one without thinking, too - there’s the acid burn from that time a bottle she was stealing broke in the crook of her arm. A nick where she caught a bolt in her calf. The tattoos, but of course she’d keep those. She paid good money for them. 

Once again it hits her that she’s different, and she can’t escape that. 

She draws closer, lays her hand on his thigh. She smiles at him and pretends she doesn’t want a drink, and pretends that she’s not thinking of anyone else. She can't let herself imagine saying the words "I think it's over," because if she does, she'll know how she feels to think that. And if she knows how it feels and it's anything less than  _ terrible _ , then she has a problem. 

“Could you go again?” she murmurs, kissing a line back along his cheek to his ear. 

“A  _ fourth _ time, Vethy?” His tone is incredulous, but in a way as if to say “how did I get so lucky again.” Or, so she thinks.

“Why, are you going somewhere?” she says, flirtily. And he laughs, and he kisses her, his breath still tasting faintly of sex. He cups her cheek and looks right into her eyes, and she hopes he can’t see the doubt behind her smile, the  _ effort _ she is putting in to be happy again right now. 

_ He is going to lose me _ , Veth thinks _. _ And the fact that she thinks of it as a loss on his end and not hers tells it all; the idea that she can look in the eyes of the smart, patient man raising her child and think that he stands to lose more than her, rings in her ears like a punch to the head. 

“I’m glad you’re back,” Yeza says, honest and open.

And she buries her face into his neck, so he can’t see her lie when she says, “Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Much love and thanks to [asterCrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asterCrash/pseuds/asterCrash) and [Winterling42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterling42/pseuds/Winterling42) for reading over this one. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated <3 You can also find me on [tumblr](https://capitola.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/knitinerant).


End file.
